Latest Tweets:

teaberryblue:

theholypythia:

Could you guys imagine if the only sex education people got was from bad fanfiction?

Well, there would be a lot more access to birth control because men would think they could get pregnant.

(via howl-to-the-wind)

hellyeahyums:

the-gingerdancer:

sextronautt:

how can lawyers argue without crying 

or swearing

if i went into a courtroom i’d be all

now you fucking listen here you little cumslut 

"he has been found guilty

"HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."

(via howl-to-the-wind)

5evamore:

when i see really attractive people i just laugh because i know if we lived in the aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the gods for their beauty 

(via howl-to-the-wind)

My cousin ordered a pizza for her and her little brother and it's actually the funniest story i've ever heard in my life. In her own words, this is what happened:

  • Cousin: so, the pizza guy got here, and he was REALLY REALLY HOT and had a REALLY ATTRACTIVE VOICE
  • Cousin: and he was like "your total is $16.38"
  • Cousin: and I handed him a $20 and he was like "how much change do you want"
  • Cousin: and I
  • Cousin: just
  • Cousin: stared
  • Cousin: at him
  • Cousin: for like 20 seconds
  • Cousin: and he was like "how much change do you want?"
  • Cousin: (IT GOES DOWN HILL. THIS IS NOT THE EMBARRASSING THING YET.)
  • Cousin: and I'm like "$2? [awkwardly long pause] $1? ...... NONE"
  • Cousin: NO CHANGE
  • Cousin: AND I LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIZZA
  • Cousin: AND SLAMMED THE DOOR
  • Cousin: (STILL GETTING WORSE, DON'T WORRY)
  • Cousin: ONCE THE DOOR HAS BEEN SLAMMED I REALIZE
  • Cousin: THE PIZZA
  • Cousin: IS
  • Cousin: STILL
  • Cousin: IN
  • Cousin: THE
  • Cousin: FUCKING
  • Cousin: CARRYING BAG
  • Cousin: AND FROM THE PORCH HE'S LIKE "um i need that back"
  • Cousin: AND I'M LIKE SHIT MAN
  • Cousin: AND I HAD TO OPEN THE DOOR
  • Cousin: AND WAIT FOR HIM TO PULL THE PIZZAS OUT
  • Cousin: AND HE'S JUST STARING AT ME
  • Cousin: AND I'M DYING
  • Cousin: AND IT TOOK LIKE A WHOLE 30 SECONDS
  • Cousin: AND MY BROTHER COMES UP AND HE IS LIKE
  • Cousin: SHE IS FLUSTERED CUZ SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE
  • Cousin: AND I DECIDE THAT CLEARLY I NEED TO PUSH HIM BY HIS FACE
  • Cousin: WHICH ONLY MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE
  • Cousin: AND THAT IS WHY I CAN NEVER EVER EVER ORDER DOMINOS EVER AGAIN FOREVER

hiddleston-daily:

cosmic-nerd-angel:

Here, have Tom Hiddleston whispering creepy things into your ear. 

Second 3D sound experiment. Uploading this again because I deleted it and people were asking about it. Clip from the Red Necklace audiobook. Wear headphones.   

Have some eargasm, fellow Hiddlestoners.

(via gofuckyourselftomhiddleston)

*10

sinthetics:

DCUP - Don’t Be Shy (feat. Mereki)

The Sinthetic Gabriel appears in his first music video!

(Source: vimeo.com)

http://delicately-interconnected.tumblr.com/post/82081954945/fashinpirate-madmaudlingoes-bropakpro

fashinpirate:

madmaudlingoes:

bropakpro:

touch-my-cuboner:

zecretary:

zecretary:

the stereotype that women talk more than men is infinitely amusing to me because men are literally incapable of shutting the fuck up

i hope this post gets popular enough that i…

str8guysre-z:

I might be in love.

(Source: because-b, via drtysfguy)

3 Tumblr updates that would not suck.

infinitybillion-stars:

1. A folder for my ‘Sent’ messages, so I have a record of my correspondence with others.

2. A notification alert for when someone replies to my Asks.

3. A sorting system for my Likes—so I can properly categorize things and not lose track of things I’ve favorited.

(via dylanobilinski)

guy:

me trying to get hmwk done

guy:

me trying to get hmwk done

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via epic-humor)